Until We Meet Again
by kickstand75
Summary: John and Teyla are having a hard time saying good-bye to one another. If tonight was the last night you had with the love of your life, what would you do? An AU take on Season 3's episode The Return - Part 1


John Sheppard rolled over in his sleep and tried to get the insistent knocking out of his mind. He was comfortably dreaming of a team member again, and if he had to admit to his unconscious self, didn't want to be rudely interrupted from the candlelit dinner he and Teyla were enjoying. She looked altogether too gorgeous with her hair pulled back and a glass of wine in her hand, and yet the knocking in his head just wouldn't stop.

"All right, all right, 'M coming", he grumbled, more to himself than the person at the door. It was late, and his mind didn't register why there was a knocking at his door instead of the usual distinctive Atlantis door chime. He slowly made his way to the door, still not yet fully awake.

"Um, T-Teyla!" John startled in surprise at this particular late night unexpected visitor. Looking at his watch, he realized it was well after 2:00 a.m. Atlantis Standard Time. He tried again after sputtering on her name the first time.

"I mean, hi, is there something I can help you with?" John mumbled a little louder this time. He ran his hands through his hair in the hopeful attempts to calm it down. He had never quite figured out how to make those cowlicks stay down, especially after an hour of vivid dreaming.

"I was going through the final packing of my items, and realized I had forgotten to return this to you." Teyla handed him a battered, barely legible, rectangular item. "I know you said I could keep this copy of Watership Down, but that was before I knew you would one day leave and never come back. I thought I would at least offer it in return to you as I know you love this particular story too."

Teyla smiled a little as she stepped further into the room to hand back the book. She'd caught sight of John's hair wildly sticking up, and before she even quite realized what she was doing, reached over to smooth it down. It was something she'd done many times before in her dreams and wasn't sure what prompted her to do so now. She snatched her hand back just as quickly as she had initially reached out.

Besides that one kiss, awkwardly spoken about afterwards, John had never given any indication that he wanted more than just friendship. And now it looked like it might be too late to ever figure out if the few times she had caught him looking at her sideways might mean anything more than just a stray hair out of place or a tie come undone. She sighed inwardly and tried to turn around to cover up her mistake but  
realized that the door behind her had closed on its own.

The small step into the room had been just enough for John to practice something he'd been working on for a while. Teyla looked over to John with one raised eyebrow.

"I assume that it was you who did that?" Teyla asked, looking back at him, book forgotten in her hand.

He chuckled a bit and eyed her sheepishly, "Well, yeah, I've been practicing during my morning runs throughout the city. I couldn't resist I guess." He wandered away and started to rifle through a small stack of things still left to be packed up at the last moment before leaving.

"John, was there something you wished to discuss with me?" Teyla tentatively sat down as she waited for John to decide to speak.

"So, listen", he began, walking towards her and sitting down close, "I was doing a last minute inventory of my bag and realized I wanted to offer you something." He pulled a rather large book from his side. It was one Teyla recognized well, although it had had little opportunity to move from his bedside these last two and a half years. .

"I know you came to offer me back my book and here I am offering you another one. Thing is, Teyla, even though I haven't been the best about actually reading through War and Peace, it represents something to me. I'd like you to keep this one for me. Consider it a promise that one day I'll get back to Pegasus. If I leave this with you and if I've promised myself I would read it….." he trailed off, not quite knowing what to say next. It seemed to him that he was always a day late and a dollar short on words.

Technically, he knew he shouldn't be so free with his promises. Who knew what the military would require of him in the next few years? He could always resign, but there was still no guarantee that he would make it back to the Pegasus galaxy even if he did. He looked at her and realized there _were _no more words. How could he even begin to say goodbye to Teyla? She was his best friend here. He'd wanted her to be more than just a friend for a long time now, but could never figure out exactly how to begin.

After a few more moments of awkward silence, Teyla stood to leave, making her way again to the door. "Well, John, I will let you get back to a few more hours of sleep, if I cannot give you back the book. I know we all have an early morning tomorrow. Ronon and I will be continuing to help settle in my people. It has been difficult for them having to relocate yet again."

As she tried to swipe the door, she realized that it would not budge. She looked around thinking John was playing another joke on her. To his credit, she had never heard him get up and walk behind her. She startled a bit in surprise when she realized just how close he had gotten. She hoped he could not hear just how loud her heartbeat had gotten in reaction to his nearness.

"I…Would…Do you want…" John started, realized he wasn't getting very far with words, and decided to try a tactic that had always worked much better for him in the past. He leaned in and softly brushed his lips against her cheek to gauge her response. When she didn't push him away, he thought that maybe actions hadn't let him down again, and leaned in further this time to touch her lips.

Teyla thought perhaps she was still stuck in her dream. Was this really John? And was he truly leaning in to kiss her? As she felt him pull away, she knew she needed to return his kiss. She did not want him to think she was not interested. She turned her head to meet his soft, tentative kiss. She slowly slid her hand up to indulge in what she had held back before. Only this time she was not trying to tame the wildness of John's hair, but to hold on for dear life. She had imagined and dreamed about John from the moment he blew into her life and told her of his love for Ferris wheels. The one kiss they had shared had been based more on aggression than anything else. But this, this was some other thing entirely, and Teyla feared her legs might not hold her much longer. This was far better than her dreams had ever let her imagine. Her fingers curled further into his hair as he deepened the kiss and she felt herself sink.

John realized the moment that he felt his heart break. Here she was, finally, absolutely, passionately kissing him back, and he had to leave in a few short hours. How could he have waited this long to feel her lips caressing his? He knew he would never feel this way about another woman again. How was he going to leave her come daylight?

This moment of desperation only fueled his desire for her and he pressed in, hearing her moan in response to him. He felt her legs slipping and pushed her back against the wall, thanking the gods above that they were both in excellent shape. He lifted her up and as he always dreamed they would, her legs wrapped snugly around him, flush against his body. They fit perfectly together as he always knew they would. He cupped his hands around her bottom and squeezed a bit tighter. He clung to her and pretended day break wasn't in two short hours. As he felt her hands run through his hair again, he made a small satisfied sound.

He lifted his head from her a short time later when he realized his arm was more than a little numb.

"Teyla," John whispered, still out of breath, but now needing to move his arm desperately, "We need to move."

She looked up at him, with more than a little hurt showing in her eyes. "John, did you not wish for this to happen?"

"Oh God, no," he laughed fully out loud now, a goofy smirk lighting his face, "In case you hadn't noticed, my arm is a little numb from holding you up. I definitely do _not _want you to leave any time soon. If I only have until 0500, we are definitely making up for lost time, and maybe even future time here too if I can't back to Pegasus any time soon."

"Plus," he continued, setting her down, but not letting her go, "I think we were both making a little noise with our enthusiasm, and since my room is right on the night-duty patrol route, I think we should maybe back away from the door." He tucked a strand of hair back behind her hair and led her to the bed.

He paused as he remembered almost everything except on thin blanket was already packed and ready to go at 0800. "I'm sorry that almost everything is packed. I can't offer you too much in the way of comfort, but if you _wanted _to stay…I mean, I hope you want to stay…" he trailed off, looking down at her expectantly.

She smiled at him brightly and squeezed his hand, "John, I have wanted this, wanted you, for a long while now. If tonight is all we ever have, then it will have to be enough to last our lifetimes. If all we have left is two hours, then I would like to make the most of it." She turned, lay back on the bed, and despite the upbringing and customs of her people, surprised herself with her boldness by pulling him down on top  
of her.

Teyla tried to roll over to find the source of the insistent beeping in her ear and found it rather hard to do because of the arm wrapped heavily around her middle. Her brain was muzzled from the short amount of sleep she had just gotten and it took a second to register that the arm belonged to John. She reached up and shut off the alarm on John's watch. Looking back at John's still sleeping face, she took a moment to admire what she saw and to imprint it in her brain for the years to come.

The alarm meant that day had come despite their best efforts to ignore the lightening skies from John's windows. Today was the day she would have to say goodbye to her best friend and now lover. They had both made the choice to stay with their respective peoples, and yet she couldn't help but question that decision at the final moment. She knew she was needed with her people. The transition to another new planet was going to be hard enough without strong leadership. Her only regret in staying was that John was not staying with her. She sighed softly and lifted John's arm to get up and begin the process of saying the final goodbye.

John woke up abruptly when his alarm shut off. To his surprise, he had completely slept through it beeping. He opened his eyes and saw Teyla tugging down her shirt across the room.

"Morning'," he whispered to her, sitting up to tug on his own shirt. "That was you who shut off the alarm?"

"Yes, morning did come too quickly, did it not?" she slowly walked over to him and placed her arms around him. "I had hoped it would not come at all, and yet, the daylight outside is no lie, John."

John looked down at the woman in his arms and couldn't believe he would be saying goodbye in two hours. With all the technology they had come across, there still wasn't a way to slow it all down. He supposed that maybe the answer to _that_ could be down in some of the old labs they hadn't explored yet and probably never would now. He would have to face that final farewell in just a little bit.

"Guess I'll see you at the gate then? I have to make a final run-through and make sure that everything is all set for departure at 0800. I promised Elizabeth I would but now I'm thinking maybe I should have left that to Lorne." John untangled himself from her arms, walking over slowly to the door. "Teyla, I –"

"Shh, -" she gently interrupted, putting her fingers to his lips, "We agreed, did we not, that last night would need to be enough. It _must _be enough. We both have our places with our people and even though I wish it could be different…" She trailed off, not quite knowing how to finish that train of thought. It was too sad for her to think about further. With one more glance up at him, she quickly turned so John would not see the tears that had sprung in her eyes. She swiped the door, and walked out without looking back.

Despite some last minute stragglers trying to load up every last item, everything was finally loaded and beamed up to the Daedalus right at 0800. Only he, Rodney, Carson, and Elizabeth were left to make the final walk through the gate. All the others were beamed up with Daedalus and would have to take the long way home. John didn't know if that was a blessing or not. Walking through the gate, knowing he would never be back, was more than a little disheartening. But the idea of having two weeks alone with his thoughts was even more depressing. He glanced up at Rodney trying to get in a few more words with Helia and shot at look at Elizabeth so she could rein him in. He didn't want to waste words. He wanted his last memories to be of the woman standing across from him. She was looking at all of them when she spoke the words of friendship, but John knew that she was speaking directly to him. He stepped towards her and leaned his forehead in as a final gesture of respect to her.

Her soft '_farewell'_ was heard by no one else but him and he was equally certain his inadequate '_take care'_ wasn't either. These words were nowhere near enough, but as she had said earlier, they _must _be. They had run out of time and last night was all they had for their memories. He sighed, lifted his head, and re-joined the others. He, Rodney, Carson, and Elizabeth walked through the gate, back to a place he no longer considered home, leaving behind the one woman he had ever loved.

He silently vowed that one day he'd come back for her. One day, there _would _be more time. They hadn't figured out a way to slow anything down, but perhaps they would get a chance again in the future if they were lucky enough. In the meantime though, they had one memorable night that would have to last for as long as it took to get back. He walked through the gate and did not look back.

***Epilogue***

John Sheppard rolled over in his sleep and smiled softly. Maybe today was the day he'd make up for all his past indecisions and lack of words. He'd always meant to speak to Teyla about that night two and a half years ago and yet something always came up or stood in their way to being together. First, Kate had died and he'd failed to speak then as well. Sadly, Teyla had taken her comforts elsewhere after that  
one awkward hug between them that should have been so much more and just hadn't been due to his inability to let her know just how much she was to him. Then, it was Larrin's flirtation with him. He had screwed that one up royally by flirting back.

There was always one situation after another in Atlantis that needed action it seemed: situations that needed resolving, saving, and doing. The problem in that was that Teyla needed words. Words he just didn't seem to be able to find time to say to her. Perhaps it was that he was just too scared to say them to her. That night two years ago had been incredible. The time spent apart from her making him even more sure that she was the love of his life. And yet the divide between speaking that thought in his head and speaking it aloud to her seemed to grow greater from the moment they had returned to the Pegasus Galaxy.

He had been floored when Teyla had finally announced her pregnancy and had felt almost inconsolable sadness after his anger had been worked through. Though he loved TJ now, and was so grateful for the role he played in the child's life, those first moments of hearing about a pregnancy had sent him into despair of ever having her love again.

When he found out through the Atlantis gossip grapevine that she was finally done with Kanaan, he vowed to himself to not let one more opportunity slip away. With Atlantis back on Earth, Kanaan separated and stuck in the Pegasus Galaxy, and some R and R coming up, he'd decided last week that today was going to be the day. Today, he was going to lay claim to what should have been his all along. John smiled again and sat up thinking today was certainly going to be a good day.


End file.
